not ready yet

well, Harper's just not ready. so Zeb and I are still waiting patiently. We did have the dreaded meeting with the doctor this morning. And he suggested inducing by the end of the week. He also talked about how the risk for a stillbirth increases. That's very scary to hear. I felt like someone was telling me I was putting my child's life in danger. Unfortunately, the same risks are present in simple things as riding in a car. They also hooked me up for NST (non-stress test). It tests the baby's heart rate, my contractions, and I have to push a button every time he moves. The mid-wife looked at the report and said he was doing good. I think that was the most encouraging part of our visit.

I completely understand where the doctor is coming from. I understand why he talks about all of the risks. However, I find there to be more risk in inducing than in waiting. Zeb and I came home and spent some time talking. We broke out the calendar and pregnancy wheel (courtesy of Aunt Candy), looked at my cycles, and our day of conception. We actually know our day of conception and calculated that with my irregular cycles our actual due date was July 16. Something we had been thinking all along- but we feel even more confident in now. It makes sense also because the doctor said I have not dilated or effaced and the baby has barely dropped which is okay since I only reached my due date yesterday. The news was disheartening because my body has been working. I've been having contractions- hopefully they turn into effective ones. We decided to give Harper one more week and then we will more seriously consider an induction.

In the mean time, I'm going to keep walking my daily 2 miles, being positive, and return for another NST later in the week. As much as I hate to think it, I should start coming to terms with the reality of an induction. The doctor's opinion was that I wouldn't go into labor on my own. I want to remain hopeful that my body will come through- but also realistic so there are no surprises and I don't feel overwhelmed if/when inducing becomes a reality.

Well, we hope all of you are doing great! I hope I don't sound too upset! Or angered. I guess it's just been a frustrating day. In the end, everything will work out. The most important thing is getting Harper here and in the healthiest state possible.
love, erica